We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
