you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
