So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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