Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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