Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
