dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
