I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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