How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
