i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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