Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is wine microwaveable?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
