just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
