i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
