You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
