oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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