im about as happy as oj after his trial
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
