Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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