you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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