He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
