I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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