i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Boobs speak an international language.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
