Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize