i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
