i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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