have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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