So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You smell like stripper and shame
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize