Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize