just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize