she looked like the before picture.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sorry about my life...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
