it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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