Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
