Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
