So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
