I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize