How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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