Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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