There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
