I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I look better un-naked...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
