I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
