You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
