everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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