best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize