brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My hand turned me down
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
