Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
