Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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