im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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