You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize