$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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