I have demons in me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm both gender and math confused
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
