well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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