My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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