He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
