I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
