Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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