There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
pray to the hookup gods
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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