I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
