is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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