...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
