Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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