Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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