He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
