i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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