you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
