He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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