so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
