I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
