I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
