hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
pray to the hookup gods
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
