Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
