I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
too bad you live with your parents still
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
