You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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