yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
