What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize