I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
